Mark Twain quotes:"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."
"Do something every day that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain."
"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with."
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
Many more of his witty and sarcastic quotes can be found at:
http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Mark_Twain/31
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