an idiom a week

This weeks' idiom is very sweet:

a piece of cake- something that is extremely easy to do or to achieve:

Fixing that door hinge should be a piece of cake for Fred.

jokes

The rich American couldn't undertand why the Irish angler was lying lazily beside his boat on the beach, smoking a pipe. "Why aren't you out fishing?" asked the American. "Because I have caught enough fish for the day," said the fisherman. "Why don't you catch some more?" "What would I do with them?" "You could sell them and make more money," was the American's reply. "With that you could have a motor fixed to your boat and go into deeper waters and catch more fish. Then you would make enough to buy nets. These would bring you more fish and more money. Soon you would have enough money to own two boats . . . maybe even a fleet of boats. Then you would be a rich man like me." "What would I do then?" asked the fisherman. "Then you could really enjoy life." said the American. "And what do you suppose I might be doing right now?" said the Irishman, smiling and puffing away on his pipe.

jokes

A garda pulls over a speeding car. He says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir." The driver says, "Are you sure? I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating." Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control." As the garda writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?" The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did." As the garda makes out the second ticket for the illegal use of a radar detector unit*, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Woman ,didn't I tell you to keep your mouth shut!" The garda frowns and says "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an on the spot 60 euro fine. "The driver says, "Well, you see sir, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket." The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving." And as the garda is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??" The garda looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?" Smiling sweetly, she replies. Only when he's been drinking, sir."

an idiom a week

The idiom for this week is:

to look like something the cat brought/dragged in

Meaning:

If someone looks like something the cat brought in, they are very untidy and dirty:

You can't possibly go to school like that-you look like something the cat brought/dragged in!

jokes

Think about it:

Crime doesn't pay. Does that mean my job is a crime?

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Borrow money from pessimists. They don't expect to get it back.

an idiom a week

This weeks' idiom is:

give someone the creeps/willies

Meaning:

to make you feel frightened and anxious, especially when there is no real reason for it:
I've never liked spiders-they give me the creeps/willies.

an idiom a week

This weeks' idiom sounds most peculiarly to me:

it's no skin off your nose

Meaning:
it's none of your business
I don't care if he doesn't come to the wedding. It's no skin off my nose.

As luck would have it, while I was trying to decipher the meaning of this idiom, I stumbled against a website where the origin of this curious idiom is made clear.

The story goes something like this:

In sixteenth century England there was a cloak-and-dagger group of cabbage worshipers who practiced a variety of peculiar cabbage rituals in the disreputable neighborhoods of London. As their worship places had to remain secret, a very small hole was cut in the doors of the places of worship, so that the identity of the worshipers could be verified.

However, electric lights were unknown at that time, so the worshipers had the ingenious idea of marking a small mark on the left side of their nose which was then searched for by the high priests before granting the worshipers entry. If the mark was missing, the priests would take a sharp knife and slice a long stripe from the swindler's nose.

This "painful" story goes again to show how rich the history of the English language is and how it is important accordingly to learn about the culture a language is part of.

To read the whole story, visit:
http://pastimesandrags.com/writings/skin.html

jokes

Boss to employee:
Experts say that in this time of downsizing, humour relieves tension at work. Knock, knock!

Employee:
Who's there?

Boss:
Not you anymore.


Signs that you've grown up:

1. You hear your favourite song in a supermarket.
2. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
3. Your plants stay alive.
4. Dinner and a film are a whole date instead of just the beginning of one.
5. More than 90 per cent of the time you spend in front of the computer is for real work.

superstition

Instead of jokes this week, I figured out it would be better to find out more about the reason of Friday the 13th being an unlucky day.

Basically, as you could have imagined, no precise theory exists which would explain why Friday the 13th brings bad luck. There is, however, an abundance of popular stories to be found about the origin of Friday the 13th:

1.The Last Supper, with stories that Judas was the thirteenth guest, and that the Crucifixion of Jesus occurred on a Friday.

2. That the biblical Eve offered the fruit to Adam on a Friday, and that the slaying of Abel happened on a Friday etc

What is true, however, is the fact that prior to the 19th century no records exist of Friday the 13th being considered unlucky.

Despite not having any scientific evidence about Friday the 13th, as much as 17 million people around the world are affected by paraskevidekatriaphobia (the fear of Friday the 13th).

My resources:

1.http://urbanlegends.about.com/cs/historical/a/friday_the_13th.htm

2.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friday_the_13th

an idiom a week

The idiom for this week is:

to be up to scratch-to meet the standard required or expected:

Is the service in this restaurant up to scratch?

an idiom a week

This week's idiom is:

a blast from the past

Meaning: something that suddenly and strongly makes you remember a previous time in your life:

Suddenly hearing that Elvis Presley song was a real blast from the past.

jokes

Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!
Q:What is the difference between a huband and a boyfriend?
A:About 45 minutes !!

When you ask a housewife, accountant, and lawyer what 2+2 is, what do they give you?
The housewife says "Four." The accountant says "It's either three or four, let me run it through my spreadsheet again." The lawyer closes the shutters, turns down the lights, and whispers "What do you want it to be?"

A husband said to his wife 'Get your coat on love, it's time to go down to the pub'. She replied 'But you NEVER take me out'. 'I'm not,' said the husband, 'but I'm turning the heating off before I go.'

an idiom a week

This week's idiom is:

to pull someone's leg

Meaning:

If you pull someone's leg, you tease them, but not maliciously.

jokes

What women want in a man:

What women want in a man at age 22:
1. Handsome

2. Charming

3. Financially successful

4. A caring listener

5. Witty

6. In good shape

7. Dresses with style

8. Appreciates finer things

9. Full of thoughtful surprises

10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What women want in a man at age 32:
1. Nice looking (preferably with hair)

2. Opens car doors, holds chairs

3. Has enough money for a nice dinner

4. Listens more than talks

5. Laughs at my jokes

6. Carries bags of groceries with ease

7. Owns at least one tie

8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal

9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries

10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What women want in a man at age 42:
1. Not too ugly (bald head is fine)

2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car

3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally

4. Nods head when I'm talking

5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes

6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture

7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach

8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids

9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down

10. Shaves most weekends

What women want in a man at age 52:
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed

2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public

3. Doesn't borrow money too often

4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting

5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times

6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends

7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear

8. Appreciates a good TV dinner

9. Remembers your name on occasion

10. Shaves some weekends

What women want in a man at age 62:
1. Doesn't scare small children

2. Remembers where bathroom is

3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep

4. Only snores lightly when asleep

5. Remembers why he's laughing

6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself

7. Usually wears some clothes

8. Likes soft foods

9. Remembers where he left his teeth

10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What women want in a man at age 72:
1. Breathing

2. Doesn't miss the toilet

jokes

What travels around the world and stays in a corner?

A stamp.

Why wouldn't Cinderella be good at sports?

She lost her shoe, she ran away from the ball, and her coach was a pumpkin.

Are mosquitoes religious?

Yes. First they sing over you, and then they prey on you.

an idiom a week

This week I have a "tasty" idiom for you:

to be the apple of someone's eye

meaning:

If someone is the apple of your eye, you think he/she is very important to you, and you love him/her very much.This idiom is used especially when someone is loved by an older member of his/her family.

superstition

In the English calendar I came across an entry some time ago that was about superstition. I know most of you tend to give superstition a wide berth as you find it just ridiculous. Still, what I'm going to write now may leave a long-lasting impression on you:

It should be just about the time of year for the first flowers to poke their heads out of the snow. Depending on which day you see your first flower after the winter, the following will happen to you...

Monday means good fortune,
Tuesday means greatest attempts will be successful,
Wednesday means marriage,
Thursday means warning of small profits,
Friday means wealth,
Saturday means misfortune,
Sunday means excellent luck for weeks.

p.s. The best decision would be not even to leave the house on Saturday.

an idiom a week

The idiom for this week is:

to be in a jam- to have a problem you cannot solve

etymology- jam (v.)- "to press tightly," also "to become wedged," 1706, of unknown origin, perhaps a variant of champ (v.). Sense of "to cause interference in radio signals" is from 1914. Jazz noun meaning "short, free improvised passage performed by the whole band" dates from 1929, and yielded jam session (1933); perhaps from jam (n.) in sense of "something sweet, something excellent." Noun sense of "machine blockage" is from 1890, which probably led to the colloquial meaning "predicament," first recorded 1914.

My computer didn't work yesterday. I was in a real jam.

jokes

Here you have another weekly dose of jokes, so that your mood can alter for the better in this catastrophic weather:

The more we study, the more we know. The more we know, the more we forget. The more we forget, the less we know. The less we know, the less we forget. The less we forget, the more we know. So why study?

Customer: "I want to try on that suit in the window."
Salesman: "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to use the dressing room."

an idiom a week

The idiom for this week is:

the proof is in the pudding

Meaning: To fully test something you need to experience it. This phrase is just shorthand for the proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Origin: The origin of this idiom dates back to the 14th century.

A: I'm not sure if I should or shouldn't eat frog legs. I don't know if I'll find it tasty.

B: Well, I can only say the proof is in the pudding.